she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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