It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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