First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
