I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
