I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
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I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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