lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
