i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
