I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
