I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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