and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
