I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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