You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
