I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
