So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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