May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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