well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize