This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
