You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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