I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
