I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.