we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize