I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
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Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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