it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far