get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
