white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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