You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
