Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
