If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
