It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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