You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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