Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
