I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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