i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
