and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
