I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
