We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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