at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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