Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
