there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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