im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think my moral compass just broke
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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