I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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