me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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