Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize