Got a toothbrush?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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