I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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