R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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