i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
