Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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