I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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