I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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