every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
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My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman