I just threw up on my dentist
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
seriously i just wanna be friends
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT