Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar