Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
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Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.