let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize