do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
