It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
