she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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