Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize